Col. Edward Thomas Ryan of New York writes: ‘Now that my secret is known, I’ll forever rest in peace.’
A Veteran’s Truth Revealed
A decorated veteran announced that he was gay in his obituary, finding peace in knowing that he died his authentic self. mBorn and raised in Rennselaer, New York, Colonel Edward Thomas Ryan was a beloved brother, uncle, and retired veteran.
A Personal Farewell
Col. Ryan decided to write his own obituary to be shared by the Albany Times Union after his passing.
He wrote, “I must tell you one more thing. I was Gay all my life: thru grade school, thru High School, thru College, thru Life”.
He wrote about his partner and how “He was the love of my life. We had 25 great years together”.
Unfortunately, Col. Ryan said that his one true love passed away in 1994 as a result of a “medical procedure gone wrong.”
Explaining His Silence
In his obituary, he explained why he was unable to come out during his lifetime. He wrote, “I’m sorry for not having the courage to come out as Gay,”
Continuing, “I was afraid of being ostracized: by Family, Friends, and Co-Workers. Seeing how people like me were treated, I just could not do it. Now that my secret is known, I’ll forever Rest in Peace.”
The community rallied behind Col. Ryan and his announcement, and within the week, more than 150 people wrote messages in support of him.
Someone wrote, “May you rest peacefully in the arms of your forever love. I’m so sorry that you never felt safe to be your authentic self. Your bravery followed you beyond death.”
Another wrote, “A fine American. A life of service that continues with his final wishes to share his truth so others may learn of love”.
Another comment read, “Sir, I am so sorry that you had to live a life in secret. No one should ever have to wait until death to be happy. May your soul and spirit live on in happiness with your true love.”
Continuing, “Humanity can be so unkind to the kindest individuals. May you and your soulmate continue your love without judgment and boundaries”.
The US military is not known to be an overtly accepting organization for the LGBTQ+ community.
Up until 1982, gay men and lesbians were banned from joining the military.
Even earlier than that, same-sex relationships were considered cause for discharge, and in the 1940s, being gay was considered an official mental illness.
Later on, the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy was enacted in 1993, which caused quite a controversy.
Closeted Service
This measure allowed members of the LGBTQ+ community to join the military on the pretense that they remain in the closet and do not share their sexual orientation publically.
Discharges for Disclosure
If military members did disclose their sexual orientation, they would be discharged. This policy was in effect for 18 years before being repealed. In 2013, LGBTQ+ military members were finally given spousal support and family benefits.
With the upcoming election, the military’s stance on LGBTQ+ members may see a significant change.
Both Trump and Biden are campaigning on hot-button issues such as transgender rights, and their decisions have the possibility to either increase or remove the rights of the queer community.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Bumble Dee.
